Today is Easter. The day of endless brunches, mimosas, chocolate, etc. Not to worry...thanks to my surgery, none of that is calling to me today. I was so happy to see the sun when I woke up this morning. I always hate it when it rains on Easter (or Halloween) because I imagine all those little faces who want to go outside and hunt for eggs stuck in the house in disappointment. Since I live in Seattle, there is ALWAYS a chance it will rain when you least want it to...but today is sunny and beautiful !!
Last night I went with my friend to Jazz Alley to hear Brian Culbertson in concert. I have been to this venue several times, but last night was, in weight loss terms, an NSV (non-scale-victory). First, I was trying to find something "night-clubish" to wear and that in itself is not an easy task in my closet. For so many years my wardrobe has consisted of loose flowing tops and elastic waist pants. But I do have clothes in many different sizes and some from my lowest weight (lowest in the last 5 years) and so I dug into the back of my closet to try on some of those clothes. I found a dressy pair of cuffed black crop pants that I thought would look nice. I pulled them out and saw that they were a size 16. My first thought was "well hell, those won't fit"...but I decided to try them on if only to see how close or far I was to actually being able to wear them again. To my surprise, they fit!! (and they weren't even tight!!!) With that uplifting victory under my belt, I starting digging around for a top to go with them. I saw a pleated top with a v-neck and small ruffles that I had forgotten I even owned and pulled it out. Size XL...sigh...since only two short months ago I was barely fitting into a 2X, I again thought there was no way I could wear this shirt...but again I was shocked and thrilled to see that it fit!! Now for shoes...I only own 1 pair of shoes with any kind of a heel. All my other shoes are flats...and not cute ballet style flats...but chunky, comfortable, wear these to work type flats. As I had gained weight over the years, my ankles would no longer hold me up on heels and so I had only kept one pair of wedges in black that I hoped to someday be able to wear again. I pulled them out completely prepared to step into them and have my ankles protest loudly...but no...they felt so comfortable that I almost cried! Here I stood, wearing pants that didn't have elastic at the waist...a shirt with actual buttons up the front...and wedge heeled shoes, getting ready to join a friend at a jazz club! Who is this woman in the mirror was my first thought! The night was amazing...the music superb...and when they urged everyone to their feet to dance to one of the last songs, I jumped right up with everyone else!!! This is why I had the surgery I thought...to be able to enjoy life!
Weighed myself this morning and found that I only lost 1-1/2 pounds last week. While that is a small amount to lose...what I gained was by far the greater accomplishment. My total weight loss so far is just over 33 pounds since surgery two months ago. I had hoped to have lost 40 pounds by now, so I am a bit behind my "dream schedule", but I don't care about that anymore. I just want to continue on this journey and have as many moments like last night that I possibly can! I will get to my goal weight eventually...but last night taught me to live in the moment and enjoy the victories along the way. It is easy in this life to feel like a failure...last night I felt like a winner, and I am going to focus on that feeling all during this upcoming week!
Until next week...
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