So today marks the end of the first week of the 21 Day Fix. I have kept true to my word and have done it every single day for a week. First let me say that there has been zero change on the scale. This is a bit disappointing because the main reason I decided to spend the money on the program was to end this damned stall I have been on! But, as the week progressed, I realized that the type of exercise I have been doing - while fine for the most part - was certainly not building muscle the way this program is designed to do. While lying in bed last night, I could tell that my outer thighs and hips have toned just a bit, and that is after only one week! So, I am going to reserve judgement until I make it to day 21 and then I'll let you know if I think this program is worth it.
A big thing I have noticed since surgery is my ability to deal with the crap that life throws my way WITHOUT numbing my feelings with food. This week, I had the installer come out to put in my new gas fireplace insert. I was super excited about this as I have looked at an empty firebox in my kitchen/dining room for about 15 years now! I had visions of nights ahead where I ate dinner in front of a fire...or made breakfast in a toasty warm kitchen. To my dismay, the installer found that the company that ran the gas piping 10 years ago drilled the hole for the pipe through the side of the chimney of my basement fireplace! He immediately asked me if I ever use that fireplace, and I told him that I think we burned one fire in it years ago. He proceeded to tell me that with the chimney compromised, a fire downstairs could have burned down my house! Yikes!!! So, until I could get the chimney repaired and new gas piping put through another way, they couldn't install my fireplace. Well crap! I was so pissed off and disappointed and worried about how much this was going to cost (since I maxed out my budget buying the fireplace insert) and after he left, I felt like curling up in bed for a good cry! What I didn't feel like doing however, was ordering a large pizza and burying my face in it! I realize now how often I used food as a coping mechanism! The good news is that I called the company who ran the gas lines 10 years ago (thankfully they are still in business) and the owner came to my house to have a look. He agreed that their worker did not run the line correctly and so they are going to fix it at no charge! Wow! Now that is customer service! As soon as they actually do fix it and my fireplace is installed and functioning, I am going to post a glowing review of both companies. When I receive great service, I like to put it out their for other consumers to see.
Yesterday I went with a friend up to the town of Leavenworth. Just across Steven's Pass and in a beautiful area of Washington. We had a great time wandering the shops. The Autumn Leaf Festival was underway and so it was a bit more crowded than we had hoped, but it was still lot's of fun and it was an absolutely gorgeous day without a cloud in the sky! Today I am going to work at my company's "Adopt-a-Street" clean up day and that should burn off a few calories! After that, I am making a dinner for my daughter and her fiancé as they are both coming over to help me get some large chores done. It's time to get the yard ready for fall and winter and my future son-in-law is a complete sweetheart to come and do the heavy work. I am a lucky woman!!
Future fun that is just being firmed up is a mother-daughters trip to NYC!! My younger daughter is graduating from Boston University next May, and her sister and I will be flying to Boston to attend her graduation. After that is over, we are all heading up to NYC for 3 fun filled days and nights together! I have always wanted to go to NYC and I can't wait to share this experience with both of my girls! So the next few months will be spent looking at hotels, broadway show schedules, and making lists of everything we hope to see and do while we are there! Even more motivation to get this last 30 pounds off! NYC here I come!!!
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
A quiet week - thank goodness!
After last weeks roller coaster ride, I was glad to settle in to a much quieter week. I usually have several ideas of what to write about each week, but this week I am drawing a blank.
What I will share is that I purchased an exercise program from "Beachbody" called the 21 day fix. There is an eating plan that goes along with it, but for once in my life I can say that I don't need that component! Other than walking and running, I have really been off exercise for a couple of months and I know that is what has contributed to the stall in my weight loss. I am hoping that by following this program for the next 21 days, I can jump start my weight loss again and kiss the 160's goodbye forever!
The program has a different set of exercises for each day of the week. Sundays are Yoga days and that is where I will start tonight. I like to do yoga before bed as it really helps me to relax and get a good night sleep. I am not sure whether I will do all the days in the evenings...I'd really like to think that I will get up an hour early at least once or twice during the week and get in a workout before I head off to work...but...mornings and I have never been on friendly terms, so I just don't know.
Had a fun day yesterday going to the UW Husky football game with my daughter. Walked from her house to the stadium and back which put me over my 10,000 step goal for the day. Now...if I only did that EVERY day!! The Huskies brought home a victory and there was no rain so it was a perfect outing!
Tomorrow I am taking the afternoon off of work and getting together with a couple of friends for a belated birthday celebration. Love these two ladies (one of whom has had a VSG) and am really looking forward to a fun afternoon!!
That's it for this edition...slow and steady...that's my motto and I am going to keep going at it for the rest of my life!!
What I will share is that I purchased an exercise program from "Beachbody" called the 21 day fix. There is an eating plan that goes along with it, but for once in my life I can say that I don't need that component! Other than walking and running, I have really been off exercise for a couple of months and I know that is what has contributed to the stall in my weight loss. I am hoping that by following this program for the next 21 days, I can jump start my weight loss again and kiss the 160's goodbye forever!
The program has a different set of exercises for each day of the week. Sundays are Yoga days and that is where I will start tonight. I like to do yoga before bed as it really helps me to relax and get a good night sleep. I am not sure whether I will do all the days in the evenings...I'd really like to think that I will get up an hour early at least once or twice during the week and get in a workout before I head off to work...but...mornings and I have never been on friendly terms, so I just don't know.
Had a fun day yesterday going to the UW Husky football game with my daughter. Walked from her house to the stadium and back which put me over my 10,000 step goal for the day. Now...if I only did that EVERY day!! The Huskies brought home a victory and there was no rain so it was a perfect outing!
Tomorrow I am taking the afternoon off of work and getting together with a couple of friends for a belated birthday celebration. Love these two ladies (one of whom has had a VSG) and am really looking forward to a fun afternoon!!
That's it for this edition...slow and steady...that's my motto and I am going to keep going at it for the rest of my life!!
Sunday, September 13, 2015
My second 5K is in the record books!
This last week has been a roller coaster! Work (which is normally really manageable and pleasant) completely kicked my ass! Between a long weekend (which made Tuesday like a Monday on crack), endless meetings, reviews to compile on my employees, and a coworker who blindsided me during a meeting with criticism I didn't see coming...I was super glad that I had chosen to take Friday off!! We have a "use it or lose it" time off policy and I had 1-1/2 days left to take before my anniversary on the 23rd, so I took Friday off. So glad I did...
On Friday I went to the Washington State Fair in Puyallup. I used to go the the fair every year and eat my way from one end to the other! From corn dogs to BBQ to pizza to burgers to scones to ice cream and every thing in between. This year I said that I was going to allow myself one fair treat. After a lot of soul searching (can't believe food requires "soul searching" now), I decided that the treat I most wanted was a corn dog. At the very wise suggestion of my daughter, I took a couple of baggies and a small tupperware in my back pack. I wasn't sure if I might change my mind and go for the BBQ and this way I could pack most of it home with me. It turned out that it was a good idea for the corn dog as well. When I got to the fair, I immediately bought a bottle of water. Then I set off to find my corn dog and look around. The corn dog was wonderful (just as I remembered) but I could only eat about 3 bites of it before my stomach protested. So I put the remainder in a baggy and put it in my backpack. I walked and gawked...went through the shopping pavilion to see what new fun things they had, and then walked a country mile out to the horse arena to watch the draft horse exhibition. So much fun to watch. I walked and walked, bought some rubber lids for my bowls, resisted the urge to buy a mandolin slicer, and said no thank you about a hundred times to all the different vendors who want you to try what they are selling! Spent about 5 hours at the fair and enjoyed every minute of it. Ate most of the rest of my corn dog before heading back to the car and counted the calories well spent!
Today I got up early to meet my daughter for the Women of Wonder 5K run to benefit cancer. This was my second 5K and to be honest I did not train for it like I did for the first one. The weather was drizzling rain when we started and all I told myself was to just do my best and finish the race. I wasn't sure whether (like I did last time) I could run the entire race without stopping...but it really didn't matter as long as I pushed myself to work hard. Well...once again my body completely amazed me! The last 5K I had a time of 48 minutes, and this time...(drum roll) 43 minutes!!! WTF???? I really don't know how I did that...other than the fact that I once again "just kept going" (and going and going). If I can finish in 43 minutes without training, imagine what I could do if I kept to my training regime. Well...I am about to find out because our next race is in 4 weeks. I'll keep you posted!
My weight is at 164 now, which means I finally crested the 60 pound lost hill that I have been climbing for quite a while now. I think the fact that I weigh 9 pounds less than I did in my first 5K may just have been what helped me to do so much better! In about 5 weeks we have our annual managers retreat in Palm Springs. My goal is to be in the 150's by the time I get on that plane! This coming week marks my return to the gym and I really think that my weight has been stalled due mostly to my lack of exercise. Well I am about to put that theory to the test! I am determined to lose another 30 pounds and get to my goal weight. I will keep you posted along the journey...for now, I am going to bask in my 5K success...and have some oatmeal !
Keep believing...
On Friday I went to the Washington State Fair in Puyallup. I used to go the the fair every year and eat my way from one end to the other! From corn dogs to BBQ to pizza to burgers to scones to ice cream and every thing in between. This year I said that I was going to allow myself one fair treat. After a lot of soul searching (can't believe food requires "soul searching" now), I decided that the treat I most wanted was a corn dog. At the very wise suggestion of my daughter, I took a couple of baggies and a small tupperware in my back pack. I wasn't sure if I might change my mind and go for the BBQ and this way I could pack most of it home with me. It turned out that it was a good idea for the corn dog as well. When I got to the fair, I immediately bought a bottle of water. Then I set off to find my corn dog and look around. The corn dog was wonderful (just as I remembered) but I could only eat about 3 bites of it before my stomach protested. So I put the remainder in a baggy and put it in my backpack. I walked and gawked...went through the shopping pavilion to see what new fun things they had, and then walked a country mile out to the horse arena to watch the draft horse exhibition. So much fun to watch. I walked and walked, bought some rubber lids for my bowls, resisted the urge to buy a mandolin slicer, and said no thank you about a hundred times to all the different vendors who want you to try what they are selling! Spent about 5 hours at the fair and enjoyed every minute of it. Ate most of the rest of my corn dog before heading back to the car and counted the calories well spent!
Today I got up early to meet my daughter for the Women of Wonder 5K run to benefit cancer. This was my second 5K and to be honest I did not train for it like I did for the first one. The weather was drizzling rain when we started and all I told myself was to just do my best and finish the race. I wasn't sure whether (like I did last time) I could run the entire race without stopping...but it really didn't matter as long as I pushed myself to work hard. Well...once again my body completely amazed me! The last 5K I had a time of 48 minutes, and this time...(drum roll) 43 minutes!!! WTF???? I really don't know how I did that...other than the fact that I once again "just kept going" (and going and going). If I can finish in 43 minutes without training, imagine what I could do if I kept to my training regime. Well...I am about to find out because our next race is in 4 weeks. I'll keep you posted!
My weight is at 164 now, which means I finally crested the 60 pound lost hill that I have been climbing for quite a while now. I think the fact that I weigh 9 pounds less than I did in my first 5K may just have been what helped me to do so much better! In about 5 weeks we have our annual managers retreat in Palm Springs. My goal is to be in the 150's by the time I get on that plane! This coming week marks my return to the gym and I really think that my weight has been stalled due mostly to my lack of exercise. Well I am about to put that theory to the test! I am determined to lose another 30 pounds and get to my goal weight. I will keep you posted along the journey...for now, I am going to bask in my 5K success...and have some oatmeal !
Keep believing...
Sunday, September 6, 2015
A rainy Sunday post
After what seems like the sunniest summer on record here in Seattle, we are now back to "normal". Fell asleep last night listening to the rain running into the downspout outside my window and woke up to a grey day. Somehow the return to what I think of as "Seattle weather" is comforting. Like a worn pair of jeans that just make me say ahhh when I put them on. I love fall weather and while I enjoyed every ray of sunshine we had this summer, I am ready to put on a cardigan and carry an umbrella.
Yesterday I went up to the outlet mall north of Marysville. They were advertising a huge Labor Day weekend sale and I still need a few more clothes in the size I am now to get me through until Christmas. I also thought it would be a good chance to get some walking in - even if I didn't find anything I wanted to buy. Well, it did end up being more walking than buying...but I enjoyed getting out of the house and I did find a couple of tops that were really great prices and so the whole experience was satisfying. I think that I have enough clothes now to get me through the fall and so I have made a promise to myself that I am going to stop shopping until closer to Christmas. When I was a size 2X shopping was never fun and so I avoided it unless absolutely necessary. Now, I love to shop and so I have to curb my enthusiasm a bit so as not to blow the budget!
Something fun today was that I finally set up the garment steamer that I bought 3 months ago. I am terrible about buying something and then when I get it home, it goes in the closet until I get time to deal with it. Then I forget about it or just keep saying "next weekend" over and over and over! I hate to iron and so a few years ago I bought a small hand held garment steamer thinking that it would be a great way to freshen up clothes that get a bit wrinkled in the closet or didn't get immediately removed from the dryer. I was cheap and so didn't buy the really nice one with the hanging rack and more powerful steam wand. I immediately regretted the purchase since the damn thing didn't work worth a darn! Then about 3 months ago I got my weekly "Groupon Goods" email and saw the nicer steamer in the ad. I bought it and when it came mid-week and I didn't have time to open it, read all the instructions, and set it up, I just put the box in the closet and promptly forgot about it. Well today I got it out, set it up, and tried in on a t-shirt that I bought yesterday that (after being in a bag all night) needed the wrinkles removed. WOW! This steamer unit is exactly what I was hoping for! It was so fun to watch the wrinkles just disappear as I passed the wand over the shirt. This is going to make me so happy as I get ready for work in the mornings. And the best part is that it only takes 45 seconds to warm up so you don't have to plan in advance to use it!! I wish all my purchases worked out this well !!
On the weight loss front, nothing has changed. I think that I am at a weight that my metabolism can support without any trouble...but the problem is, this is not the weight that I want to be! So now I am going to wage war on this last 30 pounds! There isn't anything wrong with my food intake...so I know that it's my lack of exercise that is holding me back. My first goal is to get into the 150's before my company management retreat at the end of October. All I need to do is lose a pound a week between now and then to achieve this goal and so the real work begins. I am going to force myself to go back to the gym this week. Getting back to my 3-day-a-week, 90 minute workouts is going to be rough at first...especially since my workout buddy is MIA for a few weeks longer due to other commitments...but this is where the rubber meets the road (or the fat meets the elliptical) and if I want to get to my goal weight I know I have to put in the work.
I am still so glad that I had the surgery. I know that without it, I would still be over 200 pounds and unhappy with everything in life. The surgery gave me the courage to believe in myself again. Having the surgery (for me anyway) is like having a friend with you at every meal reminding you to eat slowly, enjoy every bite, and who takes your plate away from you when you've had enough. Day by day it gets easier, until you no longer need your friend to remind you EVERY time. You can do it on your own...but then that one day when you start to slip up, your friend is right there getting you back on track. Amazing.
Happy Sunday!
Yesterday I went up to the outlet mall north of Marysville. They were advertising a huge Labor Day weekend sale and I still need a few more clothes in the size I am now to get me through until Christmas. I also thought it would be a good chance to get some walking in - even if I didn't find anything I wanted to buy. Well, it did end up being more walking than buying...but I enjoyed getting out of the house and I did find a couple of tops that were really great prices and so the whole experience was satisfying. I think that I have enough clothes now to get me through the fall and so I have made a promise to myself that I am going to stop shopping until closer to Christmas. When I was a size 2X shopping was never fun and so I avoided it unless absolutely necessary. Now, I love to shop and so I have to curb my enthusiasm a bit so as not to blow the budget!
Something fun today was that I finally set up the garment steamer that I bought 3 months ago. I am terrible about buying something and then when I get it home, it goes in the closet until I get time to deal with it. Then I forget about it or just keep saying "next weekend" over and over and over! I hate to iron and so a few years ago I bought a small hand held garment steamer thinking that it would be a great way to freshen up clothes that get a bit wrinkled in the closet or didn't get immediately removed from the dryer. I was cheap and so didn't buy the really nice one with the hanging rack and more powerful steam wand. I immediately regretted the purchase since the damn thing didn't work worth a darn! Then about 3 months ago I got my weekly "Groupon Goods" email and saw the nicer steamer in the ad. I bought it and when it came mid-week and I didn't have time to open it, read all the instructions, and set it up, I just put the box in the closet and promptly forgot about it. Well today I got it out, set it up, and tried in on a t-shirt that I bought yesterday that (after being in a bag all night) needed the wrinkles removed. WOW! This steamer unit is exactly what I was hoping for! It was so fun to watch the wrinkles just disappear as I passed the wand over the shirt. This is going to make me so happy as I get ready for work in the mornings. And the best part is that it only takes 45 seconds to warm up so you don't have to plan in advance to use it!! I wish all my purchases worked out this well !!
On the weight loss front, nothing has changed. I think that I am at a weight that my metabolism can support without any trouble...but the problem is, this is not the weight that I want to be! So now I am going to wage war on this last 30 pounds! There isn't anything wrong with my food intake...so I know that it's my lack of exercise that is holding me back. My first goal is to get into the 150's before my company management retreat at the end of October. All I need to do is lose a pound a week between now and then to achieve this goal and so the real work begins. I am going to force myself to go back to the gym this week. Getting back to my 3-day-a-week, 90 minute workouts is going to be rough at first...especially since my workout buddy is MIA for a few weeks longer due to other commitments...but this is where the rubber meets the road (or the fat meets the elliptical) and if I want to get to my goal weight I know I have to put in the work.
I am still so glad that I had the surgery. I know that without it, I would still be over 200 pounds and unhappy with everything in life. The surgery gave me the courage to believe in myself again. Having the surgery (for me anyway) is like having a friend with you at every meal reminding you to eat slowly, enjoy every bite, and who takes your plate away from you when you've had enough. Day by day it gets easier, until you no longer need your friend to remind you EVERY time. You can do it on your own...but then that one day when you start to slip up, your friend is right there getting you back on track. Amazing.
Happy Sunday!
Thursday, September 3, 2015
My body and my self image
I am so completely off my normal posting schedule that it feels strange to be sitting here eating dinner on a Thursday night and posting! Again the weekend got away from me and I completely spaced about updating my blog! So here I am trying to catch up a bit!
A couple of things have happened since my last post. I have started getting ready for my next 5K which is on September 13th. I am excited to do another race and this one is also really close to home so it will be fun AND convenient! I have not been running much lately and so I am not expecting great results...but I know I can do the race and the fun is in the participation.
The other pretty big thing that happened revolves around my own body image and the new clothes I am able to wear. I am officially in a size 14 pant and a size L top. I have given away most of my larger clothes (although I still have a few that need to be weeded out) and I have slowly integrated my new clothes into my wardrobe. Now when I say "new clothes" what that means so far is the same style of clothes I have always worn - just in smaller sizes. But last weekend I went shopping with my older daughter and I decided that I wanted boots. Knee high boots. Black knee high boots. I have wanted boots for a long time since I just love the look, but with my size it just wasn't going to happen. So I decided that I was going to get these boots (which were on sale and an extra 50% off) and see what I could pair them up with in my closet. I had a couple of ideas of outfits and was really excited to give it a go. So on Tuesday morning, I got dressed in my black leggings, a black and white tunic top with a long charcoal sweater and my boots. I went into the spare bedroom that has the full length mirror...and I had a complete panic attack! I looked into that mirror and I saw a fat old woman who was trying way too hard to look "cute". I stared at myself and wondered what the hell I had been thinking when I bought those boots!!!??? How could I possibly have thought that I could wear an outfit like this? In near tears I pulled off all the clothes and went back into my closet and pulled out a pair of black dress pants and a loose fitting shirt and I immediately felt safe. Really ??? Safe?? Since when had the way I dressed made me feel "safe"? I was already late to work by this time and so I just sucked it up and went to work. That night I Face Timed with my daughter in college and admitted to her what I had gone through that morning. She was appalled! She said "go and put that outfit on right now!" So I did. What followed was a 21 year old woman teaching a 54 year old woman to love her body! By the time we hung up she had convinced me to wear the boots to work the next day and (in her words) "own it"! So...I did. When I parked my car at work and got out I was so uncomfortable! I was sure that all the workers at the store were going to stare at me and wonder what the hell I was thinking! But that is not what happened at all. As I was headed up the stairs, one of my employees said "good morning, you look amazing today!" I stammered a thank you and headed to my desk. Throughout the day, I got compliments left and right. People who had never commented on my 60 pound weight loss suddenly took notice and told me how great I looked and how I was inspiring them to lose weight. Several people told me they loved the boots and asked where I got them. One of our salespeople told me (as I was coming back from lunch) that he didn't want to be "weird" but he wanted to tell me how great I looked! It was so uplifting and reaffirmed what my daughter had said to me the night before...people will love it if you act like YOU love it. She told me to "rock it" and that's what I did! It was a big step for me. I have never (at least in the last 20 years) worn clothing that was form fitting or that would in any way draw attention to my body. That day I did...and it was just fine! My brain needs to catch up with my progress and stop telling me how fat I am and how I can't wear that or how I can't do that! I thought I was past that stage, but obviously I have more work to do!!
I don't understand the tendency that I have to put myself down. You would think that each one of us would be our own biggest cheerleader...but so often that is not the case. Logically I know that I should be kind and nurturing to myself, but so often I am just plain mean. I am trying to learn from the "boots experience" and give myself permission to try new things that take me out of my comfort zone. I am going to try and think "what's the worst that could happen"? So what if people don't like my outfit? So what if they think it doesn't suit my size or my age? Is that really the end of the world? Am I really so governed by what everyone else thinks? Is what they think more important than what I think or want ?
So that is where I am today. My weight is still hovering around 165 and I know that I need to get more focused on my exercise so that I can lose this last 30 pounds. I will get there. I will not give up and I will not go back. The future is what I make it...and I want to make it fabulous!!!
Later...
A couple of things have happened since my last post. I have started getting ready for my next 5K which is on September 13th. I am excited to do another race and this one is also really close to home so it will be fun AND convenient! I have not been running much lately and so I am not expecting great results...but I know I can do the race and the fun is in the participation.
The other pretty big thing that happened revolves around my own body image and the new clothes I am able to wear. I am officially in a size 14 pant and a size L top. I have given away most of my larger clothes (although I still have a few that need to be weeded out) and I have slowly integrated my new clothes into my wardrobe. Now when I say "new clothes" what that means so far is the same style of clothes I have always worn - just in smaller sizes. But last weekend I went shopping with my older daughter and I decided that I wanted boots. Knee high boots. Black knee high boots. I have wanted boots for a long time since I just love the look, but with my size it just wasn't going to happen. So I decided that I was going to get these boots (which were on sale and an extra 50% off) and see what I could pair them up with in my closet. I had a couple of ideas of outfits and was really excited to give it a go. So on Tuesday morning, I got dressed in my black leggings, a black and white tunic top with a long charcoal sweater and my boots. I went into the spare bedroom that has the full length mirror...and I had a complete panic attack! I looked into that mirror and I saw a fat old woman who was trying way too hard to look "cute". I stared at myself and wondered what the hell I had been thinking when I bought those boots!!!??? How could I possibly have thought that I could wear an outfit like this? In near tears I pulled off all the clothes and went back into my closet and pulled out a pair of black dress pants and a loose fitting shirt and I immediately felt safe. Really ??? Safe?? Since when had the way I dressed made me feel "safe"? I was already late to work by this time and so I just sucked it up and went to work. That night I Face Timed with my daughter in college and admitted to her what I had gone through that morning. She was appalled! She said "go and put that outfit on right now!" So I did. What followed was a 21 year old woman teaching a 54 year old woman to love her body! By the time we hung up she had convinced me to wear the boots to work the next day and (in her words) "own it"! So...I did. When I parked my car at work and got out I was so uncomfortable! I was sure that all the workers at the store were going to stare at me and wonder what the hell I was thinking! But that is not what happened at all. As I was headed up the stairs, one of my employees said "good morning, you look amazing today!" I stammered a thank you and headed to my desk. Throughout the day, I got compliments left and right. People who had never commented on my 60 pound weight loss suddenly took notice and told me how great I looked and how I was inspiring them to lose weight. Several people told me they loved the boots and asked where I got them. One of our salespeople told me (as I was coming back from lunch) that he didn't want to be "weird" but he wanted to tell me how great I looked! It was so uplifting and reaffirmed what my daughter had said to me the night before...people will love it if you act like YOU love it. She told me to "rock it" and that's what I did! It was a big step for me. I have never (at least in the last 20 years) worn clothing that was form fitting or that would in any way draw attention to my body. That day I did...and it was just fine! My brain needs to catch up with my progress and stop telling me how fat I am and how I can't wear that or how I can't do that! I thought I was past that stage, but obviously I have more work to do!!
I don't understand the tendency that I have to put myself down. You would think that each one of us would be our own biggest cheerleader...but so often that is not the case. Logically I know that I should be kind and nurturing to myself, but so often I am just plain mean. I am trying to learn from the "boots experience" and give myself permission to try new things that take me out of my comfort zone. I am going to try and think "what's the worst that could happen"? So what if people don't like my outfit? So what if they think it doesn't suit my size or my age? Is that really the end of the world? Am I really so governed by what everyone else thinks? Is what they think more important than what I think or want ?
So that is where I am today. My weight is still hovering around 165 and I know that I need to get more focused on my exercise so that I can lose this last 30 pounds. I will get there. I will not give up and I will not go back. The future is what I make it...and I want to make it fabulous!!!
Later...
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