A before and after look...

I was going for a run with my daughter last night and asked her to snap a pic before we started.  I need to continually remind myself of how far I have come...I need to constantly encourage myself to keep the journey going...I need proof that I have made changes and that I can see those changes if only I will open my eyes.

Like a lot of people, I still see the overweight me when I look in the mirror.  It is a mind boggling fact and I don't understand it...but I am trying to force myself to take a real look and be kinder and more accepting to my own body.  So here is a before and after for posterity...I still want to lose another 15 pounds - but that is NOT going to stop me from celebrating how far I have come !!!

Rainy weather blues with a side of rant

OK - so Seattle is known for it's rain...but seriously??  This has been the wettest spring on record (so I was told on the local news) and all I could think was NO SHIT!  We have not had two nice days string together yet!  This bums me out on so many levels.  I have only managed one day working in my yard because we have only had one sunny day which actually fell on a weekend!  I have not been able to run after work because I admit, I am a wuss and only like to run when it's not a downpour! If I wake up (like this morning) and it is not yet raining...it's 44 degrees so I am not stoked to head outside and do some weeding!  I know that eventually spring will get here...or maybe we are just skipping spring this year and heading straight into summer!!!

On to my rant (surprisingly my weather commentary was NOT the rant I was referring to).

I am really frustrated, angry, mad, disappointed, and a hundred more words that I can't even come up with at this point.

Society hates fat people.  OK - maybe not ALL of society...but a damn large portion.  I get that...I may not like it...but I get it.  For whatever reason, overweight people make us uncomfortable.  I am sure there are studies as to why this is...but society's anger of fat people is not even what has me steaming.  So here it is...  If the "goal" in society is to be thin...why then do we judge people for how they achieve that?  Why are there only two acceptable ways to "get there"?

From what I have observed in my life, there are really only two acceptable ways to get thin.  Only two ways in which thin people will accept you into the "club".  One way is to be born with the genetics to be thin.  You know the people I am talking about...the ones who eat anything and everything and never gain weight...the ones who haven't ever set foot in a gym...the ones who say "all I do is walk 10,000 steps a day, that's all you need really"...it's maddening to talk with those people about my weight because they truly do not understand that their body is unique and that not everyone has the blessing of that metabolism!  The other acceptable way is to set yourself on a plan of diet and exercise where you burn more calories than you take in and over time you lose all the excess weight.  Oh boy...that one is the one that has gotten me into more arguments than any other.

From the time I was a small child, I have understood that weight loss is a battle...a war waged with your own mind and body.  My mother was overweight later in her life.  She had to have a hysterectomy in her very early 40's which threw her immediately into menopause.  Back in the 70's, the doctors would start you on a regime of hormone therapy after this surgery.  Those hormones combined with the affects of menopause caused her to go from a healthy 140 pounds to over 200 pounds in just a couple of years.  She tried everything...we lived on a farm, so our diet was about as healthy as could be.  We ate from our own garden and the chicken and beef we ate was raised right on our farm.  Looking back, I can now see how frustrated and unhappy my mom was.  My stepfather, a nice hardworking man, wanted his slim wife back and didn't understand why my mom couldn't just lose the weight.  Hell, he didn't understand how she had put the weight on in the first place!  Thus began a vicious cycle for my mom of dieting - losing weight...gaining it back plus a few more pounds...the classic "yo-yo syndrome".  My dad would say things to her like "you just need to push yourself away from the table" or "you could stand to skip a meal or two".  At the time I was only about 10 or 11 and I didn't understand how much his words hurt my mom.  She would double her efforts...she joined Weight Watchers...Nutrisystem...Jenny Craig...Adkins...and even diet pills at one point.  Nothing worked for very long.  She would see results for about a month and then nothing.  I wish I had understood more back then.  I was a skinny kid.  I had farm chores which got me up early and to bed late.  Before school and after school I worked around the house or out in the fields...no candy, soda, pizza, etc...so you could count my ribs.  I never understood how my mom had gained weight...because back then, you didn't talk to your kids about your health, your happiness, or your sadness.  Kids were not a part of those discussions.  My mom and I were always very close and so as I got older, we did have those conversations...but it hurts me to know how long she suffered in silence.

Fast forward to my adult life.  I weighed about 110 pounds when I graduated from high school.  I was an active kid even then.  Played sports, walked or rode my bike everywhere, never gave a thought to my weight.  We move to Seattle when I was 15 and I experienced fast food for really the first time in my life.  But my metabolism was a healthy one and I had no issues with weight.  After high school, I got a full time job and went to college.  The combination of school and work had me sitting on my butt for a lot of my day and weight started creeping on.  Not enough for me to worry about, but when I graduated from college,  I had put on about 20 pounds.  I decided that I was NOT going to go the route of my mom...I was going to kick these extra pounds to the curb!  I joined Weight Watchers and lost all of the weight and then some.  I hit my lifetime membership mark at 106 pounds!  Problem solved!  Except that isn't really how life works.  106 was not a realistic weight and within 6 months I was back up to 115.  That weight was a good one for me and I was sure I could maintain it.  I met my husband in the mid 80's and we liked to cook and drink and lay around watching movies and the weight began to creep up even more.  By the time I was pregnant with my first child I was up to 135. I went a little crazy during that pregnancy and gained 65 pounds, and for the rest of my life (until VSG surgery) I followed in my mother's footsteps almost exactly.  I dieted (almost every one she tried and I added a few new ones)...I had a husband who hated the fact that I was overweight and didn't mind telling me all the ways I was...lazy, not trying, a bad role model for my daughters, etc.  How I longed for something that would make a difference!

Fast forward again to 2015...my husband had passed away and I found myself alone for the first time in 20 years.  Kids moved out (one was away at college) and I had no real desire to do anything.  Depression set in and my weight ballooned up to 225 pounds!  I am only 5'2" so that is a lot of weight!  A friends wife shared with me that she had gone to Mexico and had VSG surgery.  She lost weight that she had been struggling for years to lose - in one year!  I did a lot of research and decided that was what I wanted to do too.  So I did it...and it worked!!  I lost 60 pounds in the first year and 15 more in the second year.  WooHoo - I made it!  I am in the "thin club"!!  Except no...I wasn't.  I didn't lose the weight "honestly"...it got to where I never told anyone about the surgery.  I was looked at as a "cheater"...a "fake" thin person.  The worst part was that I still didn't feel good about my body.  As you can imagine...54 year old skin that has been impossibly stretched through two pregnancies and two decades of yo-yo dieting is NOT going to snap back just because you deflated the fat underneath!  So I decided that since no one wanted me in the "thin club" anyway, I was going to go back to Mexico and have plastic surgery on my stomach and my boobs so that I at least liked the result of all my hard work.  And YES - it was hard work.

This brings me to the end of my rant with these parting words...I need some thin person to tell me why the hell it matters HOW someone loses weight...if being thin is "all about health" (as many have told me) then I have achieved that...my cholesterol, blood pressure, blood sugar, etc are all normal now (which they were not prior to losing the weight).  If it's "all about looking good", then plastic surgery took care of that.  My 10 pound belly apron is gone and my boobs are back up to where they were in my 30's.  But still they judge...I just don't get it.  I don't want to have to hide my journey!  I would like to be able to talk with other overweight people and tell them about it - in case, like me, they are looking for another avenue to explore in their wish for a slimmer and healthier life.  But I don't feel like I can do that.  If I talk about it, people (even my own children) shun the thought that what I did was a good idea.  They have lived through it, and just want to forget it happened.  They want me to shut up about it so I can be in "the club".  I never understood how people could have weight loss surgery, lose the weight, and then gain it back again.  Now I understand...when you do all the work, and still are not accepted into the club...you end up saying "fuck it" and going back to your old habits.  Because at least the "fat club" is accepting...they don't care how you got fat, when you got fat, or why you got fat...you're in!  Maybe if thin people understood how their actions cause such emotional damage to people struggling to be like them then they would change.  Or maybe, they are afraid that too many of us are going to find ways to lose the weight and they won't be special anymore...and they can't handle that.  I don't know...but I vow today to form a new "club".  I am going to call it... FYIGTOMOT - Fuck you, I got thin on my own terms!  Anyone can join...come over to the dark side...we won't judge.

Rant over...

Bandage free and feeling great!

I am happy to report that I am finally bandage free!!  Every incision is completely healed including the place on my breast where the stitch had popped.  It is so nice to not have my bathroom look like a triage unit anymore!

I have been cleared from the good doctor to resume all my normal activities.  So I have started running again.  Slowly for now...I have done a one mile and a two mile run and a three mile run/walk.  I also mowed my own lawn yesterday!  After a couple of months of really no upper body workout, boy was I sore by bedtime last night!!  I was just sure I would be as stiff as a board this morning, but I wasn't!  I am ready to get back to my normal fitness routine so that I am ready for the running season (which for me starts with my first 5K next month).  I have a lot of ground to make up before I tackle my first half marathon in August!

I have been doing Weight Watchers with my youngest daughter and so far have lost another 4 pounds.  I am about 12 pounds away from my ultimate goal of 135.  I think that getting back to my workouts will really help in that regard.  I have been doing a lot of cooking from various Weight Watchers recipes and we have really been enjoying it this time!

I am still wearing my compression garment every day.  I wear my loosest one at night while I sleep and then the tighter ones during the day.  I asked Dr R if it was OK to continue to wear them and he said yes, so I am going to wear the garment until the weather gets too hot to stand it.  I can't explain it, but I feel so much better when I am wearing the garment than not.  Last Saturday I wore Spanx for the first time and that worked fairly well.  I am going to alternate occasionally to see if I can't feel just as good in less compression.

My new clothes that I just bought are getting big on me already.  I guess I jumped the gun by purchasing them too soon after surgery.  I bought a pair of slacks (clearance) last week that were a size 8 and I feel like that is where I am going to end up.  A friend told me that he thinks I am going to get smaller than an 8...so we will see.  I can't imagine an 8 - let alone anything smaller.  It is hard to believe the incredible different in my body shape.  I am still getting used to it.  I still think I need to lift up my breast when I am in the shower to wash under it.  Then when I try...there is no "lift" as it is already lifted!!  LOL

I will post more after pictures at the three month mark.  I think there will be a big difference in my scarring by then so there will be something new to show.  Please Lord...let spring hurry up and get here!!  I am so sick of rain!!!

Thinking warm thoughts...until next time...

The long awaited...Before and After Pics!

Friday marked my 4 week surgiversary!  Wow - that month went by so quickly!!  I am feeling better these last few days.  I even managed to shower in the morning once last week!  I don't really mind showering at night...except for the fact that my hair just doesn't bounce back in the mornings!  Oh well...I work at a lumber yard...NOT a fashion outpost!

I went on Saturday for my second lymphatic drainage massage.  It is amazing how much better I feel immediately afterwards.  I was telling my daughter that it is almost like I just did 45 minutes of yoga.  I feel relaxed, refreshed and much less stiff than when I went in.  I am glad I have 9 more sessions left!  I am still struggling with swelling.  And not just swelling around my mid-section.  Swelling everywhere!  I have discovered that I can go one day without my compression stockings with no problem...but try and add a second day and my ankles swell up like balloons!  Bummer!  I look forward to the day when I don't have to wrap myself up like a brautwurst...but I have a sinking feeling that day is long into the future!  Doctor said to wear the compression garment for 6-8 weeks...or until my swelling is minimal.  The way I feel, that may take 3-4 months!  I did buy an extra garment...so now I have three.  That really helps with the laundry...but they are so darn expensive!  If they were $50, I would have 5 by now!  But at $100-$120, I will have to settle for three!

I had something exciting happen yesterday.  I was trying to find something to wear to work on Friday besides jeans because I had a lunch meeting with one of our store managers to discuss some receiving and stock issues and I thought I would dress up a little.  None of my dress slacks fit...they were all really baggy and didn't look good at all.  So I asked my daughter if she would go shopping with me to buy a few new pair of work pants.  We went to my favorite store - Loft - to see if they had anything as they were having a 40% off sale!  I love a good sale!!!  I had it stuck in my head that I was a size 14 so that is the size I grabbed to try on.  My daughter was saying that 14's were the size I had at home that were too big...but at Loft they have petites...which I love because then I don't have to hem them...so I was sure that a 14 would be fine.  Wrong!  They were just as baggy as my pants at home.  Cue the big "I told you so" from my 23 year old!  So I asked the salesperson if she could bring me a pair of 12's.  Now...I think the last time I wore a size 12 was before my oldest daughter (who is now 27) was born.  I just couldn't believe that a size 12 would fit me...and I was right...but not for the reason I thought.  A size 12 was too big!!  What???  That is impossible.  I told my daughter that I thought they fit fine...after all, I am old and don't want to wear skin tight pants.  She said for God's sake Mom...look at them...you could fit a diaper in there!  The salesperson, being the good diplomat, suggested that I try on a size 10 so that I could see which ones were more comfortable.  While she went to get a pair, I was telling my daughter that there was no way and that I was going to look like a crazy person to even try them on.  She just smirked and said "we'll see".  And dammit, she was right! The size 10 (let me just say that again...SIZE 10) fit me to a tee.  Not too tight, and they did look very nice.  Then my daughter said something that really made me take note..."Mom, why have you done all this work, and had surgery, and still you are hiding your body?"  Well hell...when did she get so wise?  So with those words ringing in my ears, I bought 4 new pairs of pants and three new shirts (all daughter approved).  I can't wait to wear a new outfit to work and celebrate my new body instead of hiding it!

So enough procrastinating...here are my pre-op and one month post-op photos.  Bandage on my breast is due to a spot that is not healing as well as everything else...other than that, all is on track.

I was amazed when I saw the picture of my breasts.  I don't know how I never noticed that they were drastically uneven!  I guess I just never looked and I ALWAYS wore a bra!

You can see how swollen I still am...but I am really happy to have the hanging belly gone and the smaller breasts are fabulous!  I am hoping that in another month, I can post more pics that show a better overall shape...but to be honest, even this shape is worlds better than what I had!  And no...I am not tan...that is just the difference between hospital lighting, and bedroom lighting!!!

Thanks for listening!  Have a wonderful week!

Back to work...and the real world

Just a quick note to say that I survived my first week back at work.  The first few days were tough because I was very stiff and sore and I walked around like I was 90 years old.  A few people asked me if my back was bothering me and I told them the truth...yes it is!

Driving is also a bit hard as I can't really twist around...but I am making it work.  When I get home at the end of the day, I eat a bite and then go straight to the shower and bed.  I have been showering at night because the whole ritual of taking off the garment, then the dressings, then showering, then drying off, and going through the routine of re-dressing the wounds, and then getting back into all my garments takes me at least an hour!  Then I have to dry my hair!  There is no way I could do all that in the morning before work!  I would have to get up at 4am, and anyone who knows me knows that is NOT happening!!!  So for now I have my evening routine and that certainly wears me out so that I sleep well.

I can't say that every day gets better...but I can say that there is a "trend" toward feeling more like my old self.  One thing good that happened is that I found a place near my home that has "mechanical lymphatic drainage".  I called them to find out more and it turns out that it's sort of a suit that you put on...it goes around each leg and foot, around your middle, and down each arm.  The suit inflates and deflates in a particular pattern which helps your lymphatic system keep things moving.  I wasn't sure if I would like it, but after I got used to the feeling, it was wonderful.  I actually fell asleep!  It costs $45 for 45 minutes (which is cheaper than the massages I had at the Casa) and so I was thinking that I would do them once a week for a month or so.  Then I found out that I could buy a punchcard for 10 massages for $300 which (even I can do this math) makes them only $30 per massage.  So I bought the punchcard and now I will be getting massages for the next couple of months!  I am really excited about this and hope it helps me keep the swelling down!

I am on week two back at work now and today was my best day yet (more of that healing trend).  My smaller garment (while still tight) no longer feels like it's purpose is to rob me of breath until I pass out!  So that is progress!  I have a new garment coming later this week so that I don't have to do so much washing all week long!  Looking forward to that.  Also my friend who is a nurse is coming on Wednesday night to remove all my remaining stitches.  I only have them in each hip and in my belly button so hopefully it will be easy for her.  I am now officially caught up on blogging.  Sorry that it took so long to get through everything!!

Well that's all for now...stay tuned for pics this weekend!

All good things must come to an end.

Saturday, February 18th - time to pack up and head back to the real world!  Lupita came in this morning to check my drain one last time and pronounced it ready to be pulled!  There was a nursing student shadowing her this morning so she got to be in on the excitement.  When they pulled my drain in the doctors office, I could hardly feel it.  Just that quick "slithery" feeling (ewww)...but the remaining one really didn't want to come out!  It still didn't hurt, but when she pulled on it, it felt like someone was playing tug-of-war with my spleen!  You could see it under the skin but it wouldn't let go!  Lupita told me to take another deep breath and she pulled again and it felt like there was a little "pop" and then I could feel it moving.  After that, it was a piece of cake!  Lupita thought it might still leak a little - especially since I was going on a plane, so she packed it nice and tight with bandages.

I decided that since I didn't have any drains I would wear leggings and a long shirt on the plane ride home.  I put on my tightest compression garment (who needs to breathe anyway), my compression stockings, and I was ready to go.  Lupita carried my backpack downstairs.  She is still amazed that I packed everything I needed in a backpack!  I really didn't need much.  I think if I was to do it over again, the only other thing I would have bought to bring would have been a light weight robe.  They had one to lend me though and when Dawn left, she gave me hers so I used that one until I came home and then left it there for the next person who doesn't bring one!  Everything else that I brought I used so I think I did pretty darn good!

Forgot to mention that when I woke up this morning there wasn't a cloud in the sky!  That storm blew all the way through! We sailed on in to Tijuana, but then came to a road that was completely flooded.  I will add some photos eventually to give you an idea.  I was a little freaked out because the water was up to the wheel wells on the cars!  Lety said not to worry, she drives through this a lot because in TJ they don't have good drainage!  She had come to get me 5 hours before my flight, and  normally I would think that was a ridiculous amount of time...but our new president has made the Mexican border a torture like no other.  It took us two full hours to get across the border and there weren't really that many cars!  To put it into perspective, 2 years ago when I was coming home from my VSG surgery, I think it took us about 5 minutes to cross into the US.  The border agent questioned the hell out of me about why I was in Mexico.  I had been warned to only answer the exact question I was asked...so it went something like this...

Border Agent (BA) - Are you Phyllis Ellis?
Me - Yes
BA - Why were you in Mexico?
Me - I had surgery
BA - What kind of surgery?
Me - Plastic Surgery
BA - What did you have done?
Me - None of your business  - KIDDING!!  I said a breast lift and a tummy tuck
BA - Why didn't you have that surgery in the states?
Me - Well, I don't know if you have looked at the costs, but it is at least double at home
BA - Do you have any drugs that you are bringing back?
Me - Yes - I have antibiotics and painkillers
BA - What kind of painkillers?
Me - Ketorolac
BA - Stares me down like she thinks I am going to confess to something wicked...
Me - Smiles, smiles, smiles
BA - OK - drive forward

I told Lety - man, that was uncomfortable and I LIVE in the US.  I can't imagine how it is for other people!  She said that she crosses almost daily and it is never the same experience twice!  Totally depends on the agent and what kind of day they are having!  I know for certain that I couldn't do their job, so I am trying to cut them some slack.

After that, it was an easy drive to the airport where I had arranged for the wheelchair service.  I wasn't sure that I needed it, but I had been told to get it anyway and man oh man am I glad I did!  First, I had the sweetest young man pushing the wheelchair!  Second, security was a breeze (to be fair I have TSA precheck, so that might have helped.  And third, after we made it past security, he asked me if I needed to use the restroom...I said yes and he wheeled me right to the door.  Then he asked if I wanted anything to eat or drink and I said yes and he wheeled me to the coffee shop and waited while I got an iced coffee.  He then wheeled me right to the gate.  I had about 45 minutes to wait until my flight boarded so he parked me there and said he would be back.  He came back right on time and wheeled me all the way down to the door of the plane!  Then the flight attendant carried my bag and stowed it for me and I sat down.  Now, I had splurged and bought a first class ticket for the way home and that was nice as well.  They served a light lunch and I watched a movie and before I knew it, I was home!  As I got off the plane, a wheelchair was waiting for me and he wheeled me all the way to my son-in-laws car!  It was so nice to get home and not be exhausted from carrying my bag and walking!  Could I have done without the wheelchair...yes...but it really did make a difference in how I felt when I arrived home!

My two daughters and my son-in-law all came to the airport to get me and bring me home.  They had my bed all ready for me with tons of pillows, a water bottle, and they had even put together my new shower chair!  I was happy to be in my own bed and it did feel good to be home.  I have two full days at home to rest up and get ready for work on Tuesday.  I am hopeful that I will make it a full day on my first day back!  Only a handful of people know that I had surgery and I would prefer to keep it that way for a while.  Eventually, when I am all healed and back to my normal self, I won't care if people know...but for now I just want to keep it to myself and get healed and whole again.

Here is a picture of the flooded road we had to travel to get to the border.  As you can see, the water goes on for a long distance.  This weekend I will hit the one month mark since surgery.  I will post some before and after pics then as well as some photos from my stay at Casa del Angel.  Thanks for reading and for all the warm wishes too!

Living it up while I can...

Today is Thursday, February 17th and it's my last full day in the Casa.  The only thing I have on my schedule today is my last lymphatic drainage massage.  The package comes with 5 massages and I ended up purchasing 2 extras, which I had yesterday and today.  I hope to find a place at home to do these as I do feel like they are helping with the swelling - especially the lipo swelling in my back.  The tightness and achy feeling in my back is the only thing right now that is bothering me.  It's not "painful" necessarily, but it is uncomfortable and makes it difficult to sit or even lie down without a lot of maneuvering!

The weather today has completely changed from the warm sunny day I spent in Rosarito yesterday.  A storm is coming in and they are predicting high winds and a LOT of rain.  So I stayed indoors today.  Sat down in the lounge for a while and read a magazine.  Visited for just a bit with Amber.  Then I just laid in bed and relaxed and let everyone take care of me!  This 16 days was such a good investment for me.  Especially after I had to have surgery - round 2 !!  I am going to be in for a rude awakening at home!!  LOL

As the day progressed, the weather got worse and worse.  We lost power late in the afternoon, but it wasn't out for too long.  Lupita came around and gave us a candle to have in our room in case we lose power overnight.  The wind is blowing so hard and I can see branches blowing off trees!  The Pacific is rough and full of white caps...what a way to end my time here!  I went on line to look at flights out of San Diego and almost every flight for this evening is delayed.  They say that this weather is going to be here for a few days and so I am a little worried about getting home tomorrow.  I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I spent some time this afternoon saying goodbye to the nurses who will not be here in the morning.  Lupita will be here and she is the one that will pull my last drain!!  I will miss her so much!  It was like having my Mom take care of me...a combination of love, tenderness, and hard cold facts which I really appreciated!  I feel ready to go home...I am just a bit apprehensive about doing anything that will slow down my recovery!  I read stories about people who get seromas, infections, incisions that open up, etc and I know that can happen...I just want to do everything I can to lessen the chance of it happening to me.

An afternoon in Rosarito and my last doctor appointment

Got up early for breakfast, a shower, and a massage.  Went back to my room to dress and wait for Lety to come and get me.  She messaged me that there is an accident and she is stuck in traffic so she will be a little late.  No problem...I am ready and excited to go when she gets here!

Lety and I drove to the town of Rosarito and got there about noon.  She asked me what I wanted to do and I said I didn't care...just was happy to be out, driving around, enjoying the sun!  We decided to have lunch first and we went to a lovely restaurant right on the beach called Las Pelicanos.  I treated us both to lunch and it was yummy.  I couldn't eat all of my chicken quesadilla so I got a box to take back with me.  We took some photos and then Lety said she would take me to the shopping street.  There was an outdoor market place with lots of booths.  I felt like we were the only customers though and that was sad.  Maybe it is busier on the weekends.  I ended up buying a dress for myself, and a few trinkets for my kids.  Then Lety took me to the Rosarito Hotel.  It was built in the 1930's and was almost torn down to build a new modern hotel.  But in the end they decided to keep the old hotel and build the new one next to it.  I am so glad because the original hotel is lovely.  Tile work, wall murals, and beautiful stucco and woodwork!  It would have been such a shame to just tear it down!

After that, I was really tired and so Lety brought me back to the Casa to rest for a couple of hours until it was time for my appointment with Dr Rodriguez.  Got to the doctors office before he was back from surgery so we had to wait for a bit.  His offices are really nice and very modern.  I got all my paperwork from Paulina on my breast implants and my post op care.  Dr R came and I went in for my check up.  He was very happy with how everything was healing.  He took out most of my stitches...only left the ones at the very end of each hip and the ones in my bellybutton because it is still really swollen there and he feels its best to leave them.  I will find someone to take them out in a couple of weeks at home.   The best news is that he removed one drain...and he said that if the quantity draining remains the same between now and Saturday, he will have the nurses at the Casa remove the last drain before I leave for home!!!  Yay!!!  I am very happy with my choice of surgeon.  He has been great with follow up and he handled my complication with skill and compassion.  He gave me lots of info to take home with me and every other Friday I am going to send him photos of my incisions so that he can give me any advice needed.  He also said that I can contact him anytime I have questions or concerns and he will get back to me as soon as possible.  Can't ask for much more than that!!

After my appointment, Lety took me to a pharma so that I could get my friend at home some of her anti nausea meds.  At home she gets 10 pills for about $60 - in Mexico I got 20 pills for $12 !!!  We really need to find a way to control the costs of medication in the states!  If I lived on the border, I would go into Mexico for all my medical needs.  They do a great job and for a fraction of the cost!  Back for the night...tomorrow is my last full day here and I am going to spend it being as lazy as possible!!

3 more days...

Today is February 15th and I only have 3 more days here until I head home.  Not gonna lie...going home scares me.  Healing when you have nurses helping you every day...changing your dressings, making your meals, doing your laundry, helping you any time you need anything...that is the best.  I know that when I go home, I am going to have to figure out how to do everything for myself.  My daughter will "help"...but it certainly won't be the same.  Being on my back for two weeks has turned me into a weakling.  It's amazing how quickly our muscles atrophy.  I ran  15 races in 2016 and now I can't walk around the block without needing a nap!  Man, this is going to take some time.

I sat down today and figured out  my finances.  Made sure I had enough cash to give my nurses a small gratuity for all the extra love and care they gave me.  I am hoping that tomorrow I can hire Lety to take me on a drive to Rosarito.   It is supposed to be sunny for one more day and I would love to get out and see a little bit of the surrounding area.  I asked Angel (owner of the Casa) if she would contact Lety and see if she is available...but I am having difficulty getting an answer.  It won't be the end of the world if I don't get to go...but I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I took another short walk around the neighborhood while the sun was at it's warmest.  I was a little faster and stronger than my last walk, so progress is being made.  One of my nurses (Fanni) is graduating from nursing school on Friday.  I am so excited for her.  Four years of study and she is almost done.  She is going to be terrific because she really cares about the patients.

After dinner I got a message from Angel that Lety will be here tomorrow at 11am to take me to Rosarito!  Yay!!  I am going to rest up tonight so I will be ready for a fun afternoon!

Just another day in the journey

After all the drama, I am happy to report that things are just going along great.  Right now I am the only patient at the recovery house.  This is a good thing and a bad thing.  A good thing because it is really quiet and I can watch movies or play music without worrying that I will bother someone.  The nurses only have me to deal with and they are so sweet and thoughtful.  It's a bad thing because I wish I still had someone to talk to.  It was so nice having Dawn there because we could both relate to the same things.  But I am doing fine on my own.

I finally got outside and went for a slow 15 minute walk up the street and back.  I think my poor nurse was nervous because she was standing outside looking for me when I came back.  It was so nice to walk and feel the sun on my face.  I admit that I walk like I am 90 and it took me 15 minutes to go the equivalent of 2 blocks...but hey...progress.  I was exhausted by the time I got back and got upstairs to my bed.  I took a 2 hour nap!  My nurse kept fretting about my walk so I messaged Dr. R and asked him if he was OK with me walking a bit more.  He messaged me back that 15 minutes was too long and I should only be walking 5-10 minutes and only at a very slow pace.  I told him that slow is currently my only speed.  I promised to scale it back a little though.  I go back to work in a week and while I don't want to over do it and risk any complications, I need to build my strength back up.  I am starting to get a little worried about my transition back to work if a 15 minute walk makes me need to sleep for 2 hours!

I got a good look at my body today and despite the swelling, I am happy with how things are progressing...all except one thing...my belly button.  It is huge and looks like it wants to be an "outie" which I am not OK with.  I know things are still really really swollen and I can't go by what I look like now...but I am definitely going to talk to Dr. R about it at my next appointment.  Other than that, things looks good and I can't wait to get on the other side of the healing curve!  Tomorrow I go back to the Oxygen Chamber for my last visit!



Up early this morning to take a shower and wouldn't you know it, my shower is on the fritz.  The water will only stay on for about a minute then it dwindles down to a trickle.  We have to turn it off and then back on...wait a minute...and then we get another minute of spray.  This made for a very haphazard shower!  I was able to shave my armpits though (it's the little things)!  Tomorrow I am going to try and shave the legs!  I had a quiet morning and a lovely lunch.  Today's appointment at the chamber wasn't until 2pm. (most of my appointments were between 9am and 10am)  Rosie came to get me and after the chamber, she took me to OXXO (which is kind of the Mexican equivalent to
7-11) and I bought a little bag of trail mix and a cookie.  Rosie is so much fun...we have a bit of a language barrier, but we make it work and have a lot of laughs along the way.  Her husbands name is Miguel and he called to tell her he was hungry.  She said, "well I am working, what do you want me to do?".  We laughed and laughed after she hung up and decided that men are the same in any language!  LOL

This afternoon a new patient checked in at the Casa.  Her name is Amber and she and her husband came together.  Her surgery is tomorrow.  I only got a chance to say hello and wish her the best in her surgery tomorrow. We were supposed to have another person coming but their surgery has been postponed for another date, so it will just be the two (three) of us until I leave to go home.

Houston we have lift off (or splash down) ;)

Hallelujah (cue angels singing)...like a last minute stay of execution signed by the governor...I pooped!!!  WaHooooooo!!!  I got up early to say goodbye to Dawn who was being picked up at 6am. I am so sorry to see her go, but she is so happy to get to go home and see her husband and son that I gave her a big hug and told her to keep me posted on her progress (instead of crying and feeling sorry for myself).  Then I went back up to my room.  I slept pretty good last night...my longest stretch yet - 5 hours!  So I wasn't sleepy.  I was sitting up in bed wondering if I should get my glasses and start reading the book I brought with me when...a feel a rumble.  As Pooh would say...there's a rumbly in my tumbly.  I was almost afraid to move, afraid I would jinx it.  I laid very still and waited.  Another rumble, and another, and then I felt it, "the urge".  Well I will spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say that if you had told me that morning, "Phyllis, you are full of shit", you would have been right. Oh my, that was marvelous.  I immediately felt so much better!  I couldn't wait for Lupita to come in and ask me the same question she has asked for a week.  I was giddy with excitement!  Much like a 3 year old who drags their Mom in to see their "potty"!! (don't worry, I flushed!  I didn't save it to show her!)  Lupita laughed and said it was because I was afraid to get an enema.  Damn straight!!  Now I don't need to.  Lupita threw water on my flames however when she said..."well you went once, we need to make sure you go again".  What???   More "poop watch"??  LOL

I hate to say it, but the morning BM was the highlight of today.  It started raining and it rained all day.  I was hoping for a short walk outside today, but that was not to be.  I started watching the Netflix series "The People vs. OJ Simpson" and I have to admit I got hooked.  I binge watched the entire series in 2 days!  I did take a blanket and a pillow and went down to the lounge area and sat and read my book and also had my lunch there.  But other than that today was a lazy day with nothing much going on.  Later in the evening I got a message from Dawn saying that she had made it home and that she was exhausted and would talk more tomorrow about her adventures in getting home.  I am so happy for her!

(poop emoji) PLEASE

OK - so today marks one week since the original surgery...and...you guessed it...no poop!  The entire nursing staff is on "poop watch".  Every morning they ask...did you poop? And when I tell them no, they frown and shake their heads.  This morning after the same routine, they went and got Martha who is one of the head nurses.  She says..."you have not pooped yet?"...to which I reply "no, nothing, nada, zilch...I promise, if I have a bowel movement this whole house is going to know about it!!!  She laughed, but then said the words that made my blood run cold.  "If you haven't pooped by this time tomorrow, I am going to have to administer an enema".  Now, I am a grown woman...I have had two children and nursed my husband until he died.  I am strong, I am fearless...but I DO NOT want an enema.  I don't know what it is...but there is something completely demoralizing about an enema!  I have been taking stool softeners since the day of surgery - religiously - but still nothing.  And when I say nothing, I mean absolutely nothing...no urge...no feeling of movement...nothing.  I decide to double up on my stool softeners for today in the hopes that somehow a miracle will happen before the clock runs out and I have to bend over (sorry for the bad visual).

It was a beautiful day today and Dawn and I had lunch out on the patio.  I lamented over my potential enema and she laughed and said maybe a miracle would happen.  I found out that she also has a doctors appointment this afternoon and so we will be riding together.  We agreed that we will ask Lety to stop somewhere on the way back so we can buy ourselves a treat.  I am also out of pain meds and so want to ask the doctor if I can get a few more.  I don't think I will need them for long, but don't want to be without, just in case.

Got to the doctors office and Dawn went first.  She is going home tomorrow, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that the doc will pull her drain.  She only has one (the lucky dog) while I have two!  She came out after about 20 minutes and told me that Mr. Drain will be traveling back to Canada with her.  Bummer!!  Then it was my turn.  I went in and the doctor immediately said that I had the color back in my face and I looked so much better.  Yay!  That is a good start.  I took off my clothes and the compression garment and he checked over all my incisions.  He was pretty happy.  The 4 inch area that had been reopened was (as expected) not as healed as the rest of the area.  He put new dressings on it and said we just have to be patient while it heals.  He also told me that my compression garment is no longer tight enough.  He and his nurse made a padding to go inside the garment to make it tighter again.  He said that if I want to continue to wear this garment, I will need to buy some "lipo foam" to pack inside it to make it tighter.  (I went back to my room and ordered some from Amazon).  When he and the nurse helped me put my garment back on I was shocked at how much tighter it felt with the padding in place.  He said that he would see me again before I go home and that he will continue to receive daily updates from the nurses.  He also told me that I could buy my pain meds (Ketorolac) over the counter in Mexico.

After we were finished, Dawn and I asked Lety to take us somewhere to buy a treat.  I also asked her if we could stop at a pharmacy because I needed to get some pain meds.  She asked what I wanted to get and I told her.  She said she knew the best place so off we went.  We were able to get our treats there as well.  Dawn got a chocolate bar and I got a little package of shortbread cookies.  We were both thrilled.  Then I went to buy my meds and I got a bottle of 50!  I was trying to calculate the price in my head from Pesos to Dollars, but Lety hands the guy some kind of loyalty card and suddenly the price drops by half!  When it calculates to dollars, I end up paying about $9.50 for 50 painkillers!  When we got back to the house I went online and looked up the drug.  You can't get it in the states without a prescription, so I guess that's why I have never heard of it.  Dawn and I spent a few more minutes chatting before she went to her room to pack.  So sad to see her go.  I will be the only patient in the house for 3 days until the next one arrives late on Monday for a Tuesday surgery.

Let the healing begin...again

Woke up this morning feeling tired.  I have been struggling with sleep this entire time.  I know it's because I have to sleep on my back.  I have been a stomach sleeper for the last 50 years, so to flip it on me has thrown my sleep cycle for a loop.  I don't seem to have a hard time falling asleep, but I sure can't STAY asleep!  It is getting a little bit better.  The first few days I couldn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.  Last night I slept for almost 4 hours before waking.  I wake up with a mouth as dry as the desert...so I know I am sleep with my mouth open! (how lovely)  I keep a water bottle beside the bed and every time I wake up I rinse my mouth and drink a little...but then I wake up again needing to pee...so it's a vicious cycle!

I met a lovely woman here from Canada.  Her name is Dawn.  She had her surgery 5 days before me, so I have been asking her a million questions and she is kind enough to answer them all.  We have had some fun talks and have been getting to know each other and that has gone a long way to easing the loneliness of being here alone.  The doctor has ordered two days of bed rest for me and so I feel so lucky to have Dawn to stop by and sit with me and talk.  Since I have to have bed rest, my Oxygen Chamber appointments have been rescheduled.  I don't really like to watch TV (and there is only one English channel anyway) so I have been reading, and catching up on my political satire.

The next day...
This morning marks day 2 (and hopefully the last day) of bed rest.  Lupita came and helped me with a shower and then back to bed.  That actually made me feel a lot better.  Dawn came and had lunch with me in my room and we laughed and talked and laughed some more and my spirits have been lifted.  Doc did allow me to go for my lymphatic massage in the afternoon and that also made me feel better.  Tomorrow I go back to the chamber in the afternoon followed by a visit to Dr R's office for a follow up appointment.  I am hoping that he is happy with what he sees and I can relax and get down to the business of feeling better!

More to come...

The best laid plan

I was awake as they wheeled me back into my room and got me back into bed.  My brain was a little fuzzy, but I was clear enough to remember the doctor coming in to talk about the surgery.  He said that everything went well...he had talked to me previously about the fat I still had left in my upper stomach area and how he couldn't do anything about that fat during this surgery.  He reiterated that after the surgery.  He said I would see improve in my shape but that I would need to lose another 10-15 pounds to make the results ideal.  I am fine with that I told him.  As long as the giant apron of fat below my bellybutton was gone.  He assured me that it was and that he thought I was going to love my new breasts.  He did end up needing to use implants.  The smallest ones he has (which are 150cc) just to round out the center where I didn't have much density.  Everything sounded great.  He told me to rest and he would be back in the morning to check on me and process my discharge.  This was at about 3 in the afternoon.

Things went along well for a couple of hours.  Then I started to feel really nauseous!  The feeling got worse and worse.  I asked Lupita for something just in case I was going to throw up.  She brought me a little tray and I held on to it for dear life.  Sure enough I started vomiting...and vomiting...and vomiting.  I felt like I was getting weaker and weaker.  Lupita called Dr. R who came right back.  After checking me over, he said that I had lost too much blood and I needed an immediate transfusion!  What???  Well, if that's what I need then let's get this party started!  They started the transfusion and I held on to my little tray like a lifeline.  Pretty soon that nausea went away.  Lupita brought me some ice to suck on that that was heavenly!  Dr R told her that as long as I wasn't nauseous, after about an hour I could have a little bit of water...and if water stayed down, then I could have a bit of juice in a few hours.  He left, again promising to come back the next day.

I slept off and on all night.  Lupita waking me up frequently to check my vitals and to ask how I was feeling.  I wanted to tell her that I felt like I had been run over by a bus...but she was so sweet I held in my normal sarcasm.  She wanted me to eat a bit of fruit the next morning...but that just wasn't going to happen.  After one bite my stomach protested and I DID NOT want to start vomiting again!  Now I should mention that during all of this I was doing my best to keep my daughters informed about what was happening and needless to say they were upset.  Fortunately, the hospital had wifi so when I was feeling semi-human, I was able to FaceTime with them to show them that I was alive!  The doctor didn't come until very late the next day.  He said that my heart rate was still way to fast and he didn't want to release me yet.  That meant another night in the hospital.  Yikes!  How much will that cost, I asked him.  Nothing was his reply.  A part of my package was "complication insurance" which covered everything except the transfusion...that was $200.  OK - I can handle that.  So I settled in for another night.

The next day I was released mid-day and Rosie came to pick me up and take me back to the Casa.  When I got there, they got me up to my room - the only issue I have with the Casa is that the bedrooms are upstairs...a LOT of stairs.  I clearly remember standing at the bottom and thinking...I don't know if I can make it to the room!  Of course I did...and then I remembered that Laura was gone and she had the bed by the window.  I saw that they had made up the other bed for me so I asked if it would be possible for me to switch to the bed by the window.  They were so nice and immediately switched everything over to that bed and got me settled.  Bliss.  I elected to get the pain pump (which was an extra $300 - and worth every penny IMHO) so I wasn't in any actual "pain"...but I was uncomfortable EVERYWHERE.  Mostly though my back - where he did the lipo - was sooooo tight! It's hard to explain, but I felt like someone had blown me up like Violet in Willie Wonka.

The care I received at the Casa was first rate.  The rooms were nice (mine had an amazing ocean view that I only had to turn my head to see) and each had it's own bathroom.  The food was good, breakfast-lunch-dinner-and snacks, and the nurses were so nice.  The only problem is that there is a pretty big language barrier with some of them.  They have apps on their phone to help with their English and I had an app to help with my Spanish...so we muddled along pretty well.  They had such sweet and helpful attitudes that I didn't really care about the language being spoken.

Got some surgery stats from the doctor today...a total of 12 pounds was removed during surgery.
My "apron" weighed 10 pounds!!!  He removed half a pound of tissue from each breast and a pound of fat from the lipo!  Amazing!  He said that is probably why I needed a transfusion.  Every pound of tissue removed has blood in it...the more tissue, the more blood loss.  At this point I thought that I was on the mend.  Yes, everything is sore and swollen and I have a lot of healing to do...but I am on my way.

The next morning I had an appointment at the Oxygen Chamber.  I did much better this time.  I found out that it's OK to bring my iPod into the chamber and having music to listen to really helped my frame of mind.  Taking that drive into TJ, sitting up in the chamber for 90 minutes and then the drive back wiped me out.  I took a 2 hour nap as soon as I got back to the Casa.  I am really looking forward to tomorrow when I get to take a shower!  My hair is nothing short of disgusting and I cannot wait to wash it.

The time came for my much anticipated shower and it was everything I dreamed of.  It didn't occur to me that I was way to weak to take a shower on my own!  After taking off all the compression garments, all the wound dressings, getting my lanyard to hold my drains up out of the way, and actually getting into the shower (thank God for shower chairs), I was already exhausted.  Then my angel Lupita took over...she washed my hair, and my body, and rinsed me.  Then she handed me the wash cloth so I could wash my "cootchie cootchie"...I got the giggles like a school girl when she said that!  LOL   She dried me off and helped me back to bed.  She did all the "nurse things" to my wounds and re-dressed them.  Took care of my drains, and generally fussed over me like a mother hen. (In case I haven't mentioned it...I LOVE Lupita).  She then told me to lie there and rest for a few minutes because I have a massage soon.  After about 30 minutes they came and got me for my massage.  Martha is the massage therapist (and a nurse) at the Casa.  She has a small room set up there, which is nice so you don't have to travel for your massages.  The bad part again is the stairs!  First you have to go down all the stairs to get to the main floor...then through the lounge and through the kitchen...then up a small flight of stairs...then turn right and up a very steep flight of stairs to her studio.  By the time you get there you just want to lay down!!  Lymphatic drainage massage is different that any other massage I have every gotten.  Martha uses a machine first ...she puts gel on your back and the uses an "RF wand" (radio frequency) and moves the wand in circular motions on your back.  She does half of your back at a time.  The machine is timed, so it beeps when it's time to change sides.  I didn't have a watch and there is no clock in the salon, but I would estimate that each side gets about 3 minutes with the wand.  You are just sitting on the side of the table during this part.  After the wand, she uses a warm oil and begins the massage.  These massages are to help your lymphatic system drain all the excess fluids that are stuck in your body after the surgery...and I was so swollen that I really needed it.  She uses a sort of sweeping motion up and over and down.  She has a few pressure points that get some attention...under your arms and at your groin.  After she finishes with your back, she cleans off the oil and helps you to lie down on your back on the table.  That is the hard part.  In the beginning, flat on my back was NOT a comfortable position for me.  But she puts a big pillow under your knees so that your stomach is still kind of contracted which helped.  She repeats the entire process on your front.  The first couple of massages were very uncomfortable.  I was stiff and sore and nothing she was doing felt good.  But as the days went by, I started to look forward to them.  The surgery package I had included 5 massages...I ended up buying an additional 2 massages and had my last one the day before I left for home.  I really do believe that these helped me a lot.  My bruising went away faster and after the first couple, I did feel better after every massage.

So this was to be a busy day for me because after my massage I had about an hour to rest and then back to the Oxygen Chamber!  I was actually thinking that a shower, a massage, AND an appointment in the chamber was too much for one day...but then I asked the nurse if I could drink coffee yet and she said yes...but only one cup.  She asked if I would like her to make me a cup, but I said no...because right across from the Oxygen place is...Starbucks!  I planned to ask Rosie if we could stop there after the appointment for a small coffee!  OK - now I had something to look forward to!!  This was day 4 after surgery and I had almost started to feel human again, so a coffee was my reward!  I went and had my time in the chamber and then Rosie took me to Starbucks.  She stayed in the car while I went in.  I opted for a tall iced latte and eagerly waited for the barista to hand it over.  While I was waiting, Rosie came in.  She was talking to someone on the phone.  I thought she was either worried about me being in there alone, or she had decided to get something for herself.  The barista called out my name and I walked up to get my coffee.  I got a straw and put it in the cup and turned to walk to Rosie.  She looked at me and took the coffee right out of my hand!  She said "you can't have that...you are supposed to be fasting".  Uh no, I am not fasting...I had breakfast and juice this morning.  She said that she had just talked to Martha, who had just talked to Dr R, and Martha said I was supposed to be fasting and that Rosie needed to take me to the hospital!!  WTF??  I was sure that there was some mistake.  I told Rosie, she must have me mixed up with another patient.  Why would I need to go back to the hospital?  She put me on the phone with Martha who told me that they have been sending all my stats as well as photos (I knew they were taking wound pics each day but they never said anything about being worried about anything) to Dr R each day.  The photos they sent him this morning bothered him enough to want me back in the hospital.  OK - well I am not one to argue with the Dr...but everything SEEMED fine.  I was not in any new pain (I was on my last day of the pain pump), I had looked at my incisions just that morning in the shower and nothing looked alarming (OK - I know - I am NOT at doctor), so I had no clue what was happening.

Rosie took me to the hospital and to my relief, my original nurse Lupita (not my Lupita from the Casa) was on duty.  She took me into a room and proceeded to do everything she had done on the day of my surgery.  Gown, compression stockings, new IV line...I tried to ask her what was going on and all she could tell me was that Dr R told her to prep me for a "procedure".  OK - now I am starting to really worry.  I called my daughters to let them know what was going on...even though there was not much I could really tell them.  Then came the longest two hours I have gone through in a while.  Finally the doctor came in to talk to me.  He pointed out the very large, very dark bruise around my belly button. He said that is not normal, and considering the blood loss and subsequent transfusion during my last surgery, he is worried about clots.  He asked for permission to open up my incision to check things out.  He told me he would only need to open about 4 inches of the incision.  He said that he may go in and find nothing...which would mean he opened me back up for no reason...but his gut is telling him that something is not right.  Wow, OK doc...you're the man...if you say we need to go back in, then let's do it.  He said he was assembling a team and we could hopefully be back in the OR in about 30 minutes.  He estimated that the whole surgery would take less than an hour.

The same anesthesiologist came in to talk to me.  She asked if we could do the epidural again.  She said since the area affected is a lot smaller this time she would only need to do a smaller process and that I should be good to go a couple of hours after surgery.  By now it's 4pm.  Lupita comes to get me and take me back to the OR...deja vu...surgery begins and I can't feel a thing.  There is a blue drape above my head and one corner of it keeps drooping into my face and I keep batting it away.  Suddenly I can hear this awful sucking sound and it just goes on and on and on.  I am trying to focus on the music playing and tune out what's happening.  I think I dozed off for a few minutes because the next thing I remember is the doctor telling me that he is done and I am being stitched back up.  He said he would come and talk to me once I was back in my room.  After I was back in the room for about 30 minutes (I had time to call my kids and assure them that I was doing fine) Dr R came in to talk to me.  He said that he was very glad we had gone back in to look because my abdominal cavity was full of blood clots.  He said that he had never seen anything like it!  Long stringy clots that were keeping my drains from working and then one giant clot right around my bellybutton.  He suctioned and rinsed and cleaned the whole area and feels that everything will begin to heal properly now.  I was a bit in shock at that news!  I asked the doctor how long I would stay in the hospital and he said that a driver was coming at 9pm to take me back to the Casa!  So I had about 3 hours to get my legs working again, drink some water to hydrate me, and get dressed.  Oh and I forgot...I was still low on blood so they gave me another pint of blood as well as a pint of plasma!  Good lord!  It was amazing how quickly I bounced back from this though.  When Lupita came in to remove the stockings and take out the extra IV to help me get dressed I was feeling much the same as I had that morning.  Then the nicest thing happened.  The anesthesiologist came in and said "I know you are scheduled to lose the pain pump today...but I am going to fill it up for another two days so that you can rest and recover from this surgery!  She comes back in with a syringe and puts another two days worth of drugs into the pump!  Now...the 4 day pump cost $300 so I fully expected this was going to be $150.  I asked her how to go about paying for the refill and she smiled and said "this is my gift to you".  What???  That was maybe the nicest thing a doctor has ever done for me!  Two more days of not having to take pain pills...wonderful !!!

So at 9pm Rosie came and got me and we made the drive back to the Casa.  My "other Lupita" had the door open before we even knocked.  She enveloped me in a big hug and said "I was so worried about you"!  She helped me up to my room and fussed over me.  She refilled my water bottle, brought me a little snack (since I missed dinner) and after all that, I slept like a log.  Now...the best part is that my iced latte is in the fridge.  Rosie took it back to the house for me and they are saving it so I can have it later.  So glad I got an iced coffee!!!  Onward and upward!

It's all over but the blogging!

I got home last night after being away for 16 days having my long awaited plastic surgery.  There is way too much to put in one post, so I will break it up into several.  Let me start by saying that I am doing great and I am very glad I had the surgery!  But a lot happened along the way...so here goes.

I flew down to San Diego on February 2nd.  My patient coordinator arranged for me to get a ride from the airport.  I had the idea (which I now realize was actually a delusion) that since I was going to be in Mexico for 16 days, I would have a few other (non-surgical) things done that I have been putting off due to finances.  One of those things was to have 2 fillings that have cracked replaced.  My patient coordinator set me up with a dentist that they represent (a very very nice woman) and my first stop in Mexico was to her office for an exam and treatment plan.  I went to her offices and she and her assistant examined my teeth and talked to me about different options.  In the end, I decided on getting 3 fillings replaced and my teeth whitened.  The total quote for this was $460 - that is about what I would have paid for 1 or two fillings at home.  She said to call her after the surgery and we would set up an appointment.  One appointment for the fillings and then a couple days later I would go back for the whitening.  When I tried to pay for the appointment on my way out, she told me that there was no charge for just an office visit. (What?)

My next stop was to the Oxygen Therapy Center.  After doing some research, I have decided to do Oxygen Therapy to aid in my healing.  The basic science is that pure oxygen speeds the body's ability to heal and breathing pure oxygen in a pressurized chamber even enhances that further.  I basically got in to an iron cylinder (not for you if you are claustrophobic) for about 90 minutes.  The first 15 minutes they pressurize the chamber...then you put on your face mask and they start the flow of oxygen...you breathe that for 1 hour...then they slowly "un-pressurize" (is that a word?) the chamber over the next 15 minutes...and that's it.  The first time in I got a little freaked out.  The operator of the chamber was the absolute sweetest man.  You can talk to them and they are watching you on a monitor.  I started to have some anxiety and told him...he talked me down and over the next 5 minutes or so just kept giving me ideas of my breathing and how to sit for maximum lung expansion...just basically talking to take my mind off where I was...and I managed to get my nerves under control.  After that, my driver took me to the recovery house...Casa del Angel.  The house is in a gated and guarded community called Real del Mar.  It is a huge community built on a hillside overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  There is a golf course, a convenience store, and a restaurant in the community.  It is located south of Tijuana about 20-30 minutes.  As you look up the hillside, all the homes are huge, white, and very "southwestern" in style.  The only problem (after surgery) is that the roads are crap and you bump bump bump along which after surgery is not fun!!!

I got to the house and was shown to my room.  I had a roommate named Laura (only for my first night) who was just about ready to go home.  She would go home while I was in the hospital.  She was super nice and let me pepper her with a million questions about her surgery and recovery.  I went to bed early as I was being picked up at 6am to go for my consultation and mark up with Dr Rodriguez, and then to the hospital.  I didn't get much sleep as my brain wouldn't shut down long enough for me to sleep.  I figured it didn't really matter because I was going to sleep most of the next day anyway!

Up at 6am...showered with the special soap...and then dressed for the hospital.  My first mistake was in not packing any kind of a bag to take with me.  I was told that I would have my surgery...spend the night in the hospital...and then go home mid-day the following day.  I figured...what would I need?  I was going to be out of it most of the time anyway.  So I went to the hospital with the clothes on my back and my purse (which had my cell phone and charger - thank God).

I would like to take this time to talk about something I now call "Mexico time".  I will preface it by saying I hate to be late...which in turn means I hate other people to be late too.  It was my experience in Mexico that "time" is really just a general idea.  For every appointment I had, my driver got me there 10-15 minutes late.  The first time I was a stressed out mess!  I apologized profusely to the person and they looked at me like I was crazy!  You are not late they said...oh yes, my appointment was 15 minutes ago...they looked at the clock and said "nah"...I am not even sure what they meant by that...but apparently timeliness is NOT in the culture...so I tried to relax about it.

My first meeting with Dr R was brief but informative.  He did all his measurements, markings, and the like.  We did talk extensively about my breasts.  Interesting fact...the ideal breast is one where the center of the nipple is 20cm from the clavicle bone.  Now for the bad news...my right breast measured 29cm and my left 31cm!!!  The Dr looked at me and said, "this is going to be a big lift"!!  LOL - understatement of the year.  We talked about size and I explained that I wanted to go smaller...significantly smaller.  At my heaviest, I wore an F cup bra!  After weight loss, I was down to a DD...and I really wanted to be a C.  Dr said in order for me to get even close to a C cup, he would have to do a pretty extensive reduction.  I said I understood and he made some more markings.  He informed me that depending on where the density was inside my breasts, he may need to use a small implant to make them a pleasing shape.  I made a joke that as long as they didn't look like "porn star boobs" I would be fine with it.  He laughed hard at that one.

I then went to the hospital - a new facility that was just finished last year in April!  It is a lovely building and very modern.  The wing I was taken to had 4 rooms sort of in a circle with a nurses station in the middle and the OR at the other end.  I met my nurse Lupita.  She was so sweet and not more than 4'10" tall.  She spoke English pretty well.  She put in my IV and got me in compression stockings and a gown.  She took some blood samples, and checked my vitals.  Then the anesthesiologist came in to talk to me.  She was a lovely young woman and very well spoken.  She said that based on my age she wanted to talk with me about something.  She wanted to know if I would consider forgoing general anesthesia in favor of an "awake" surgery using an epidural and another drug to relax me.  She said that in patients over 50 (I'm 56) she has found that they recovered faster and felt better after surgery without using general anesthesia.  I had both of my children with epidurals...and I am not squeamish (I have watched several TT surgeries online) so I told her I was fine with that!  Shortly after that, I was wheeled into the OR.  Dr R was there with a team of 6 and before I knew it we were underway!  I was awake off and on during the surgery.  It was definitely strange to hear everyone talking and to feel weird pressure in different areas.  I would lay there and try to imagine what they were doing...then I would drift off for a while.  Surgery lasted about 6 hours and then I was back in my room.  And then the story gets interesting..............

T minus 4 days and counting...

I made it to the week of my surgery!  It's hard to believe that in 4 short days I will get to meet Dr. Rodriguez and get this process underway!  In total, I lost 6 pounds in the last 30 days.  Not exactly where I had hoped to be, but I feel like those 6 pounds were important ones.

Got a call from Angel, who runs the recovery house.  She just wanted to check in and see how I was feeling and if I had any questions or concerns prior to coming down for surgery.  I know I have made the right choice for me, as everyone concerned has been very open and caring throughout this whole process.

Finished packing this weekend, and was very happy that I had managed to keep it to my backpack.  I am not going to win any fashion awards while I am down there, but everything I took has a purpose and is comfortable.  Hopefully much of it will be consumed while I am there.  I bought travel size "everything" and will not bring any of that home with me.  I also took a dozen protein bars which won't make it back either.  I think the only thing extra I will come home with is a back up compression garment.  With any luck, I will have a lighter pack on my flight home.

I also arranged for my 6am ride to the airport for Thursday, and am furiously trying to tie up any and all loose ends at work before I drop off the radar for a couple of weeks.  A few coworkers know what I am doing, but not many.  So far I have only had good responses.

I think the next post will be the night  before surgery.  With any luck, I will be able to keep a daily log of what is happening before, during, and after surgery.  Once I have a decent "after" photo, I will post a side-by-side comparison so you can judge the success for yourself.  I am open to questions or comments, only if they are in a good spirit.  I don't need any negativity...I get plenty of that on my own...thanks.

Until I head south...see ya!

Happy New Year! Bring on 2017!!

The holidays are behind me, the fridge has been completely cleaned out of temptation, and in 32 days I will be flying to Mexico for my plastic surgery.  Things are getting real !

I have decided to go on a 30 day "clean eating" plan to prepare my body, by immune system, and my mind for this momentous surgery.  This means...no alcohol, no added sugar, no caffeine, and limited starches.  Bring on the protein, the veggies, the fruits, and a little bit of dairy.  This is going to be such a shock to my system after all the holiday indulgences!  I think the biggest challenge is going to be caffeine.  Work was very stressful in the last couple of months and I was not sleeping well at all.  Instead of handling that in a healthy way (yoga, meditation, exercise) I just powered through each day fueled by more and more caffeine!  This just exacerbated the sleeping problem and I got on a very vicious cycle!  Things are calmer now and tomorrow will be my first day to start the morning with a protein shake instead of a venti coffee!!

I am going to continue with my weight training and try and be as healthy as I possibly can when I board that plane next month!  I remember how I felt two years ago when I was flying to Mexico for my VSG surgery.  There is that taste of fear in the back of the throat, the butterflies in the stomach, and the yearning for a change that seems just out of reach.  The last time I had such an amazing outcome...fingers crossed that history repeats itself.

In order to keep myself focused and calm, I am going to update this blog a lot in the next 32 days.  I need to get back to the time where I do a lot of soul searching...time to think about what I am doing, why I am doing it, and to encourage myself to get it done.  Once my surgery is done and I am of sound mind and body again, I will post some before and after photos for anyone who is interested.  It is very strange when I look at my body in the mirror now and try and imagine what it will look like 32 days from now.  I have looked at this same body for a very long time and while I don't like what the mirror shows me, this body has gotten me through some very tough times!  It's strange to love AND hate what you see in the mirror!  After my VSG surgery and subsequent weight loss, I have continued to feel like I am just not quite "there"...that more is needed to put me where I need to be.  I am really really hoping that after this next surgery I find that peace and contentment that has been missing.

So stay tuned...this is going to be a wild ride.  Happy New Year!!!